Networking and relationship building for purposes of a mid-career switch or a job search can seem to be a huge investment of time. We walk through the mindset and process, as well as share 5 tips on how to consistently get a good outcome from relationship building. 

In our hyperconnected world, having a good reputation and references endorsed by peers and colleagues can be a boost to any job search. However, getting a reference proactively during the application process can be daunting and anxiety-inducing, especially when ex-colleagues and referees might be time-poor, or moved to another country. 

Networking is governed by the rules surrounding relationship building that includes authenticity, appreciation, communication, honesty and transparency. People do not become friends, much less a referee, if they do not like and enjoy the company of the other party. 

It is helpful to think about healthy professional (or those made through employment and work) relationships and relationship building from the perspective of a process. There should be a clear purpose and shared connection, the type of relationship needed, and a commitment to the relationship. 

For example, a professional relationship can be about being a workplace cheerleader for mutual encouragement of each person’s agenda in the same organisation. It can also be about being a mentor for a younger person in the same industry. 

Relationship building starts when you are still employed

The truth is many jobseekers and mid-career change candidates only think about relationships when they are already on the job search. This is due to various reasons such as being time-poor, focus on climbing the organisation ladder, family commitments and getting too deep into a personal comfort zone. 

These reasons result in a person becoming more introverted, and to shy away from meeting new people and gathering new experiences; and in short, develop a fixed mindset. It requires a big action – deciding to leave a role, change industries, or lose a job – to shock the system. However, relationship building is analogous to taking care of a plant. It needs consistent care and attention, and not a one-time fertiliser or watering exercise in order to thrive. 

Networking starts from when a person is employed. At the workplace, it entails being a good colleague and supervisor, demonstrating commitment to shared goals over the time spent working together. This can be through informal roles such as a cheerleader, a coach, a mentor and even a mental health advocate. Chances are, there will be one or more roles that appeal, and it takes consistent actions in those roles to establish a reputation and context by colleagues. 

Being a leader or a manager also creates opportunities for direct reports, and other stakeholders to form opinions about work ethics, personality and performance. These can become translated into references when the time comes.

Mentorship – both within and outside a workplace – is also a good place to build relationships. There are many people searching for direction and clarity in their roles. It does not cost much to be a guide, but it can open the door to future collaborations, partnerships and maybe even job opportunities. 

Networking can take place in online and offline settings 

Given the accelerated adoption of digital tools throughout the pandemic, it pays to be active on online networking services such as Clubhouse and LunchClub. These are virtual meetings set up for people to meet new people but on a professional level, and without the pressure of dating. These meetups can help a jobseeker hone their conversational skills as well as add more people to their network. 

Despite the shift to digital, face-to-face meetings are still the preferred means of meeting new people. It is just much easier to build relationships face-to-face than on a virtual platform. This is by no means any fault of the platform. Humans evolved to understand other people through non-verbal, environment and contextual cues. These cues are challenging to share over Zoom. 

Besides, this is precisely where networking at professional industry associations and groups shine. These are communities where peers can meet to network, and exchange and refresh information about their field, and the industry. As a jobseeker, these communities are where you want to contribute value to, perhaps as a mentor or a connector, to establish a reputation. 

5 tips for positive results in relationship building

Research your companion: Be prepared when you meet someone new, and even someone you think you already know. Follow them on social media, see if they shared any milestones or updates about their career recently. There is no need to stalk. Instead, aim for good context about who they are, what they do and perhaps a way you can offer value to them by connecting them with someone, or with a piece of information. 

Read up about what is current in your industry: Talking about the weather, or the latest safe management measures can only get you so far. It is far more effective to demonstrate that you understand the trends impacting your industry, or have insights to offer regarding developments in your field. These open the conversation into going deeper, and thereby establish a stronger impression with your companion. 

Be genuinely interested in your companion: Remember, being transactional in this process will not help with building the relationship thereafter. No one likes being sold to, or to learn that their time was invested for the benefit of only one party. 

Look for ways to offer value: It might seem odd that the best way to build a relationship is to give, while taking only what is required. The Reciprocity Effect describes a social norm where people respond to another person’s exchange (gift) with an equivalent (or more) action. In practice, an offer to connect someone, to introduce them to an opportunity or serve as a research participant will be returned in kind, through time, effort or contacts. 

Always keep promises: The tips shared earlier do not work, if promises made are not kept or broken. This links back to the demonstration of commitment to a shared goal or understanding. If a companion shares openly, or asks for help, do not agree unless you are able to deliver. It is better to explain why you are unable to help, then to disappoint your companion with a broken promise. This information might be shared with other peers and impact your reputation negatively. On the other hand, if you deliver successfully on a promise, there can be a reputation to gain as a subject matter specialist. 

The mindset and goal out of every positive relationship building session is to actively find ways to give value to the other party. If both parties are contributing to the relationship, this will provide momentum through the value provided to each person’s agenda and direction.